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<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"><html><head><title>The Project Gutenberg Etext of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll</title> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"><style type="text/css"><!-- body{margin:10%;text-align:justify}p.asterisks{font-size:150%;font-family:monospace;text-align:center}--></style> </head><body><pre>
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The Project Gutenberg Etext of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
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Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
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[Also known as "Alice in Wonderland"]
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by Lewis Carroll
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May, 1997 [Etext #928]
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[Date last updated: April 15, 2005]
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The Project Gutenberg Etext of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
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*****This file should be named alice30h.htm or alice30h.zip****
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</pre>
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<hr>
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<h1 align="Center">ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND</h1>
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<h3 align="Center">Lewis Carroll</h3>
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<p align="Center"><i>THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0</i></p>
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<hr>
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<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER I</h3>
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<h3 align="Center">Down the Rabbit-Hole</h3>
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<p>Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister
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on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had
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peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no
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pictures or conversations in it, 'and what is the use of a book,'
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thought Alice 'without pictures or conversation?'</p>
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<p>So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,
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for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether
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the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble
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of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White
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Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.</p>
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<p>There was nothing so <i>very</i> remarkable in that; nor did
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Alice think it so <i>very</i> much out of the way to hear the
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Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when
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she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought
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to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite
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natural); but when the Rabbit actually <i>took a watch out of its
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waistcoat-pocket,</i> and looked at it, and then hurried on,
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Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that
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she had never before seen a rabbit with either a
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waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with
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curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was
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just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the
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hedge.</p>
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<p>In another moment down went Alice after it, never once
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considering how in the world she was to get out again.</p>
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<p>The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,
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and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a
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moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself
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falling down a very deep well.</p>
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<p>Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for
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she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to
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wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look
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down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to
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see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and
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noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;
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here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took
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down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled
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'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it was empty:
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she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing somebody, so
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managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past
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it.</p>
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<p>'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this,
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I shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll
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all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even
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if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely
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true.)</p>
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<p>Down, down, down. Would the fall <i>never</i> come to an end!
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'I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said
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aloud. 'I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth.
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Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--'
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(for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in
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her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a <i>very</i>
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good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no
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one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over)
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'--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what
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Latitude or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what
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Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice
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|
grand words to say.)</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right
|
||
|
|
<i>through</i> the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among
|
||
|
|
the people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies,
|
||
|
|
I think--' (she was rather glad there <i>was</i> no one listening, this
|
||
|
|
time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) '--but I shall
|
||
|
|
have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.
|
||
|
|
Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried
|
||
|
|
to curtsey as she spoke--fancy <i>curtseying</i> as you're
|
||
|
|
falling through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) 'And
|
||
|
|
what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No,
|
||
|
|
it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up
|
||
|
|
somewhere.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon
|
||
|
|
began talking again. 'Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I
|
||
|
|
should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember her
|
||
|
|
saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down
|
||
|
|
here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you
|
||
|
|
might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do
|
||
|
|
cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get rather
|
||
|
|
sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way,
|
||
|
|
'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, 'Do bats eat
|
||
|
|
cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it
|
||
|
|
didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was
|
||
|
|
dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand
|
||
|
|
in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 'Now,
|
||
|
|
Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly,
|
||
|
|
thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves,
|
||
|
|
and the fall was over.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in
|
||
|
|
a moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her
|
||
|
|
was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in
|
||
|
|
sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away
|
||
|
|
went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as
|
||
|
|
it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's
|
||
|
|
getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but
|
||
|
|
the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long,
|
||
|
|
low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the
|
||
|
|
roof.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;
|
||
|
|
and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the
|
||
|
|
other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,
|
||
|
|
wondering how she was ever to get out again.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made
|
||
|
|
of solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,
|
||
|
|
and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the
|
||
|
|
doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or
|
||
|
|
the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of
|
||
|
|
them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low
|
||
|
|
curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little
|
||
|
|
door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key
|
||
|
|
in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small
|
||
|
|
passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and
|
||
|
|
looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.
|
||
|
|
How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about
|
||
|
|
among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but
|
||
|
|
she could not even get her head though the doorway; 'and even if
|
||
|
|
my head <i>would</i> go through,' thought poor Alice, 'it would
|
||
|
|
be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I
|
||
|
|
could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only know
|
||
|
|
how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had
|
||
|
|
happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few
|
||
|
|
things indeed were really impossible.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so
|
||
|
|
she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another
|
||
|
|
key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up
|
||
|
|
like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it,
|
||
|
|
('which certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round
|
||
|
|
the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words 'DRINK
|
||
|
|
ME' beautifully printed on it in large letters.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little
|
||
|
|
Alice was not going to do <i>that</i> in a hurry. 'No, I'll look
|
||
|
|
first,' she said, 'and see whether it's marked "<i>poison</i>" or
|
||
|
|
not'; for she had read several nice little histories about
|
||
|
|
children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other
|
||
|
|
unpleasant things, all because they <i>would</i> not remember the
|
||
|
|
simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a
|
||
|
|
red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if
|
||
|
|
you cut your finger <i>very</i> deeply with a knife, it usually
|
||
|
|
bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from
|
||
|
|
a bottle marked '<i>poison</i>,' it is almost certain to disagree
|
||
|
|
with you, sooner or later.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>However, this bottle was <i>not</i> marked 'poison,' so Alice
|
||
|
|
ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact,
|
||
|
|
a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple,
|
||
|
|
roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon
|
||
|
|
finished it off.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p class="asterisks">
|
||
|
|
<br>
|
||
|
|
* * * * *
|
||
|
|
<br>
|
||
|
|
* * * *
|
||
|
|
<br>
|
||
|
|
* * * * *
|
||
|
|
<br>
|
||
|
|
</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up
|
||
|
|
like a telescope.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and
|
||
|
|
her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right
|
||
|
|
size for going through the little door into that lovely garden.
|
||
|
|
First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was
|
||
|
|
going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about
|
||
|
|
this; 'for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, 'in my
|
||
|
|
going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be
|
||
|
|
like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is
|
||
|
|
like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember
|
||
|
|
ever having seen such a thing.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided
|
||
|
|
on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when
|
||
|
|
she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the little
|
||
|
|
golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found
|
||
|
|
she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly
|
||
|
|
through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the
|
||
|
|
legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had
|
||
|
|
tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and
|
||
|
|
cried.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to
|
||
|
|
herself, rather sharply; 'I advise you to leave off this minute!'
|
||
|
|
She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very
|
||
|
|
seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so
|
||
|
|
severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered
|
||
|
|
trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game
|
||
|
|
of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious
|
||
|
|
child was very fond of pretending to be two people. 'But it's no
|
||
|
|
use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people! Why,
|
||
|
|
there's hardly enough of me left to make <i>one</i> respectable
|
||
|
|
person!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under
|
||
|
|
the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on
|
||
|
|
which the words 'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.
|
||
|
|
'Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger,
|
||
|
|
I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep
|
||
|
|
under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I
|
||
|
|
don't care which happens!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which
|
||
|
|
way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel
|
||
|
|
which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find
|
||
|
|
that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally
|
||
|
|
happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the
|
||
|
|
way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,
|
||
|
|
that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the
|
||
|
|
common way.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p class="asterisks">
|
||
|
|
<br>
|
||
|
|
* * * * *
|
||
|
|
<br>
|
||
|
|
* * * *
|
||
|
|
<br>
|
||
|
|
* * * * *
|
||
|
|
<br>
|
||
|
|
</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER II</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">The Pool of Tears</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much
|
||
|
|
surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good
|
||
|
|
English); 'now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that
|
||
|
|
ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet,
|
||
|
|
they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far
|
||
|
|
off). 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your
|
||
|
|
shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure <i>I</i> shan't
|
||
|
|
be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself
|
||
|
|
about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be
|
||
|
|
kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk the way
|
||
|
|
I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots
|
||
|
|
every Christmas.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.
|
||
|
|
'They must go by the carrier,' she thought; 'and how funny it'll
|
||
|
|
seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the
|
||
|
|
directions will look!</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<blockquote><i>ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.</i>
|
||
|
|
<p><i>HEARTHRUG,</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>NEAR THE FENDER,</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>(WITH ALICE'S LOVE).</i></p>
|
||
|
|
</blockquote>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in
|
||
|
|
fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took
|
||
|
|
up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one
|
||
|
|
side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get
|
||
|
|
through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to
|
||
|
|
cry again.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great
|
||
|
|
girl like you,' (she might well say this), 'to go on crying in
|
||
|
|
this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the
|
||
|
|
same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all
|
||
|
|
round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the
|
||
|
|
hall.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the
|
||
|
|
distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.
|
||
|
|
It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a
|
||
|
|
pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the
|
||
|
|
other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to
|
||
|
|
himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh!
|
||
|
|
<i>won't</i> she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt
|
||
|
|
so desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when
|
||
|
|
the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, 'If
|
||
|
|
you please, sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the
|
||
|
|
white kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness
|
||
|
|
as hard as he could go.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very
|
||
|
|
hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:
|
||
|
|
'Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things
|
||
|
|
went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the
|
||
|
|
night? Let me think: <i>was</i> I the same when I got up this
|
||
|
|
morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little
|
||
|
|
different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in
|
||
|
|
the world am I? Ah, <i>that's</i> the great puzzle!' And she
|
||
|
|
began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the
|
||
|
|
same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for
|
||
|
|
any of them.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such
|
||
|
|
long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm
|
||
|
|
sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,
|
||
|
|
oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, <i>she's</i> she, and
|
||
|
|
<i>I'm</i> I, and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I
|
||
|
|
know all the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five
|
||
|
|
is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven
|
||
|
|
is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However,
|
||
|
|
the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography.
|
||
|
|
London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,
|
||
|
|
and Rome--no, <i>that's</i> all wrong, I'm certain! I must have
|
||
|
|
been changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "<i>How doth the
|
||
|
|
little--</i>"' and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she
|
||
|
|
were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice
|
||
|
|
sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the same
|
||
|
|
as they used to do:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<blockquote><i>'How doth the little crocodile</i>
|
||
|
|
<p><i>Improve his shining tail,</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>And pour the waters of the Nile</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>On every golden scale!</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i><br>
|
||
|
|
'How cheerfully he seems to grin,</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>How neatly spread his claws,</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>And welcome little fishes in</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>With gently smiling jaws!</i>'</p>
|
||
|
|
</blockquote>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and
|
||
|
|
her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel
|
||
|
|
after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little
|
||
|
|
house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so
|
||
|
|
many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm
|
||
|
|
Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their
|
||
|
|
heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look up
|
||
|
|
and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like
|
||
|
|
being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here till
|
||
|
|
I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden
|
||
|
|
burst of tears, 'I do wish they <i>would</i> put their heads
|
||
|
|
down! I am so <i>very</i> tired of being all alone here!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was
|
||
|
|
surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little
|
||
|
|
white kid gloves while she was talking. 'How <i>can</i> I have
|
||
|
|
done that?' she thought. 'I must be growing small again.' She got
|
||
|
|
up and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found
|
||
|
|
that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet
|
||
|
|
high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that
|
||
|
|
the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it
|
||
|
|
hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That <i>was</i> a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal
|
||
|
|
frightened at the sudden change, but very glad to find herself
|
||
|
|
still in existence; 'and now for the garden!' and she ran with
|
||
|
|
all speed back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was
|
||
|
|
shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass
|
||
|
|
table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,' thought the
|
||
|
|
poor child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never! And
|
||
|
|
I declare it's too bad, that it is!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another
|
||
|
|
moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first
|
||
|
|
idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that
|
||
|
|
case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had
|
||
|
|
been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general
|
||
|
|
conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find
|
||
|
|
a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in
|
||
|
|
the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and
|
||
|
|
behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that
|
||
|
|
she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine
|
||
|
|
feet high.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam
|
||
|
|
about, trying to find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it
|
||
|
|
now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That
|
||
|
|
<i>will</i> be a queer thing, to be sure! However, everything is
|
||
|
|
queer to-day.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a
|
||
|
|
little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at
|
||
|
|
first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then
|
||
|
|
she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that
|
||
|
|
it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to
|
||
|
|
this mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I
|
||
|
|
should think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no
|
||
|
|
harm in trying.' So she began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out
|
||
|
|
of this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'
|
||
|
|
(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:
|
||
|
|
she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having
|
||
|
|
seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse--of a mouse--to a
|
||
|
|
mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather
|
||
|
|
inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little
|
||
|
|
eyes, but it said nothing.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I
|
||
|
|
daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the
|
||
|
|
Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no
|
||
|
|
very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she
|
||
|
|
began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in
|
||
|
|
her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the
|
||
|
|
water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. 'Oh, I beg your
|
||
|
|
pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor
|
||
|
|
animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate
|
||
|
|
voice. 'Would <i>you</i> like cats if you were me?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be
|
||
|
|
angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I
|
||
|
|
think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She
|
||
|
|
is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as
|
||
|
|
she swam lazily about in the pool, 'and she sits purring so
|
||
|
|
nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and
|
||
|
|
she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital
|
||
|
|
one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,
|
||
|
|
for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt
|
||
|
|
certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk about her any
|
||
|
|
more if you'd rather not.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the
|
||
|
|
end of his tail. 'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our
|
||
|
|
family always <i>hated</i> cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't
|
||
|
|
let me hear the name again!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the
|
||
|
|
subject of conversation. 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'
|
||
|
|
The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There is
|
||
|
|
such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!
|
||
|
|
A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly
|
||
|
|
brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll
|
||
|
|
sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I can't
|
||
|
|
remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and
|
||
|
|
he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He says it
|
||
|
|
kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful
|
||
|
|
tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was
|
||
|
|
swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a
|
||
|
|
commotion in the pool as it went.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back
|
||
|
|
again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't
|
||
|
|
like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam
|
||
|
|
slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice
|
||
|
|
thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, 'Let us get to
|
||
|
|
the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll
|
||
|
|
understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded
|
||
|
|
with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a
|
||
|
|
Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious
|
||
|
|
creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the
|
||
|
|
shore.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER III</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the
|
||
|
|
bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their
|
||
|
|
fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and
|
||
|
|
uncomfortable.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they
|
||
|
|
had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed
|
||
|
|
quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with
|
||
|
|
them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had
|
||
|
|
quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,
|
||
|
|
and would only say, 'I am older than you, and must know better';
|
||
|
|
and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was,
|
||
|
|
and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no
|
||
|
|
more to be said.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority
|
||
|
|
among them, called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me!
|
||
|
|
<i>I'll</i> soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once,
|
||
|
|
in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her
|
||
|
|
eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a
|
||
|
|
bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all
|
||
|
|
ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you
|
||
|
|
please! "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the
|
||
|
|
pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders,
|
||
|
|
and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest.
|
||
|
|
Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very
|
||
|
|
politely: 'Did you speak?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Not I!' said the Lory hastily.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. '--I proceed. "Edwin and
|
||
|
|
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him:
|
||
|
|
and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found
|
||
|
|
it advisable--"'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Found <i>what</i>?' said the Duck.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Found <i>it</i>,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of
|
||
|
|
course you know what "it" means.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I know what "it" means well enough, when <i>I</i> find a
|
||
|
|
thing,' said the Duck: 'it's generally a frog or a worm. The
|
||
|
|
question is, what did the archbishop find?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,
|
||
|
|
'"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William
|
||
|
|
and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate.
|
||
|
|
But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you getting on now,
|
||
|
|
my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't
|
||
|
|
seem to dry me at all.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I
|
||
|
|
move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more
|
||
|
|
energetic remedies--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of
|
||
|
|
half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do
|
||
|
|
either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some
|
||
|
|
of the other birds tittered audibly.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone,
|
||
|
|
'was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a
|
||
|
|
Caucus-race.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What <i>is</i> a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she
|
||
|
|
wanted much to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought
|
||
|
|
that <i>somebody</i> ought to speak, and no one else seemed
|
||
|
|
inclined to say anything.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do
|
||
|
|
it.' (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some
|
||
|
|
winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the
|
||
|
|
exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party
|
||
|
|
were placed along the course, here and there. There was no 'One,
|
||
|
|
two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked,
|
||
|
|
and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know
|
||
|
|
when the race was over. However, when they had been running half
|
||
|
|
an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called
|
||
|
|
out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting,
|
||
|
|
and asking, 'But who has won?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal
|
||
|
|
of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed
|
||
|
|
upon its forehead (the position in which you usually see
|
||
|
|
Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in
|
||
|
|
silence. At last the Dodo said, '<i>everybody</i> has won, and
|
||
|
|
<i>all</i> must have prizes.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices
|
||
|
|
asked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why, <i>she</i>, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice
|
||
|
|
with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,
|
||
|
|
calling out in a confused way, 'Prizes! Prizes!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand
|
||
|
|
in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt
|
||
|
|
water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes.
|
||
|
|
There was exactly one a-piece all round.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the
|
||
|
|
Mouse.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. 'What else have
|
||
|
|
you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo
|
||
|
|
solemnly presented the thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of
|
||
|
|
this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short
|
||
|
|
speech, they all cheered.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked
|
||
|
|
so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not
|
||
|
|
think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble,
|
||
|
|
looking as solemn as she could.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise
|
||
|
|
and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not
|
||
|
|
taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on
|
||
|
|
the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again
|
||
|
|
in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,
|
||
|
|
'and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half
|
||
|
|
afraid that it would be offended again.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to
|
||
|
|
Alice, and sighing.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It <i>is</i> a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with
|
||
|
|
wonder at the Mouse's tail; 'but why do you call it sad?' And she
|
||
|
|
kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that
|
||
|
|
her idea of the tale was something like this:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Fury said to a mouse, That he met in the house, "Let us both
|
||
|
|
go to law: I will prosecute <i>you</i>. --Come, I'll take no
|
||
|
|
denial; We must have a trial: For really this morning I've
|
||
|
|
nothing to do." Said the mouse to the cur, "Such a trial, dear
|
||
|
|
Sir, With no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath." "I'll be
|
||
|
|
judge, I'll be jury," said cunning old Fury: "I'll try the whole
|
||
|
|
cause, and condemn you to death."'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.
|
||
|
|
'What are you thinking of?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to
|
||
|
|
the fifth bend, I think?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I had <i>not</i>!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very
|
||
|
|
angrily.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and
|
||
|
|
looking anxiously about her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up
|
||
|
|
and walking away. 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily
|
||
|
|
offended, you know!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Mouse only growled in reply.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after
|
||
|
|
it; and the others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but
|
||
|
|
the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little
|
||
|
|
quicker.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it
|
||
|
|
was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of
|
||
|
|
saying to her daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you
|
||
|
|
never to lose <i>your</i> temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said
|
||
|
|
the young Crab, a little snappishly. 'You're enough to try the
|
||
|
|
patience of an oyster!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,
|
||
|
|
addressing nobody in particular. 'She'd soon fetch it back!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'
|
||
|
|
said the Lory.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about
|
||
|
|
her pet: 'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for
|
||
|
|
catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her
|
||
|
|
after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at
|
||
|
|
it!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
|
||
|
|
Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began
|
||
|
|
wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, 'I really must be
|
||
|
|
getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary
|
||
|
|
called out in a trembling voice to its children, 'Come away, my
|
||
|
|
dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts
|
||
|
|
they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a
|
||
|
|
melancholy tone. 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm
|
||
|
|
sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder
|
||
|
|
if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice began to
|
||
|
|
cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little
|
||
|
|
while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps
|
||
|
|
in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the
|
||
|
|
Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his
|
||
|
|
story.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER IV</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and
|
||
|
|
looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;
|
||
|
|
and she heard it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess!
|
||
|
|
Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed,
|
||
|
|
as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where <i>can</i> I have dropped
|
||
|
|
them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking
|
||
|
|
for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very
|
||
|
|
good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were
|
||
|
|
nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her
|
||
|
|
swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and
|
||
|
|
the little door, had vanished completely.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
|
||
|
|
and called out to her in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what
|
||
|
|
<i>are</i> you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me
|
||
|
|
a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much
|
||
|
|
frightened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed
|
||
|
|
to, without trying to explain the mistake it had made.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she
|
||
|
|
ran. 'How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd
|
||
|
|
better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.'
|
||
|
|
As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door
|
||
|
|
of which was a bright brass plate with the name 'W. RABBIT'
|
||
|
|
engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried
|
||
|
|
upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann,
|
||
|
|
and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and
|
||
|
|
gloves.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going
|
||
|
|
messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on
|
||
|
|
messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that
|
||
|
|
would happen: '"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready for
|
||
|
|
your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see that
|
||
|
|
the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went on,
|
||
|
|
'that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering
|
||
|
|
people about like that!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room
|
||
|
|
with a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan
|
||
|
|
and two or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the
|
||
|
|
fan and a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the
|
||
|
|
room, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the
|
||
|
|
looking- glass. There was no label this time with the words
|
||
|
|
'DRINK ME,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her
|
||
|
|
lips. 'I know <i>something</i> interesting is sure to happen,'
|
||
|
|
she said to herself, 'whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll
|
||
|
|
just see what this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow
|
||
|
|
large again, for really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny
|
||
|
|
little thing!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected:
|
||
|
|
before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing
|
||
|
|
against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being
|
||
|
|
broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself
|
||
|
|
'That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I
|
||
|
|
can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so
|
||
|
|
much!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and
|
||
|
|
growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another
|
||
|
|
minute there was not even room for this, and she tried the effect
|
||
|
|
of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the other arm
|
||
|
|
curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and, as a last
|
||
|
|
resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the
|
||
|
|
chimney, and said to herself 'Now I can do no more, whatever
|
||
|
|
happens. What <i>will</i> become of me?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its
|
||
|
|
full effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very
|
||
|
|
uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of
|
||
|
|
her ever getting out of the room again, no wonder she felt
|
||
|
|
unhappy.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when
|
||
|
|
one wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered
|
||
|
|
about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that
|
||
|
|
rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know,
|
||
|
|
this sort of life! I do wonder what <i>can</i> have happened to
|
||
|
|
me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing
|
||
|
|
never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There
|
||
|
|
ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I
|
||
|
|
grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a
|
||
|
|
sorrowful tone; 'at least there's no room to grow up any more
|
||
|
|
<i>here</i>.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I <i>never</i> get any older
|
||
|
|
than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old
|
||
|
|
woman-- but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I
|
||
|
|
shouldn't like <i>that</i>!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. 'How can you
|
||
|
|
learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for you, and no
|
||
|
|
room at all for any lesson-books!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other,
|
||
|
|
and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few
|
||
|
|
minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. 'Fetch me my gloves this
|
||
|
|
moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs.
|
||
|
|
Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she
|
||
|
|
trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was
|
||
|
|
now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no
|
||
|
|
reason to be afraid of it.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open
|
||
|
|
it; but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was
|
||
|
|
pressed hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice
|
||
|
|
heard it say to itself 'Then I'll go round and get in at the
|
||
|
|
window.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'<i>That</i> you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till
|
||
|
|
she fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she
|
||
|
|
suddenly spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She
|
||
|
|
did not get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a
|
||
|
|
fall, and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that
|
||
|
|
it was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or
|
||
|
|
something of the sort.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--'Pat! Pat! Where are
|
||
|
|
you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, 'Sure then I'm
|
||
|
|
here! Digging for apples, yer honour!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. 'Here!
|
||
|
|
Come and help me out of <i>this</i>!' (Sounds of more broken
|
||
|
|
glass.)</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it
|
||
|
|
'arrum.')</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills
|
||
|
|
the whole window!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it
|
||
|
|
away!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear
|
||
|
|
whispers now and then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer
|
||
|
|
honour, at all, at all!' 'Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at
|
||
|
|
last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in
|
||
|
|
the air. This time there were <i>two</i> little shrieks, and more
|
||
|
|
sounds of broken glass. 'What a number of cucumber-frames there
|
||
|
|
must be!' thought Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do next! As for
|
||
|
|
pulling me out of the window, I only wish they <i>could</i>! I'm
|
||
|
|
sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at
|
||
|
|
last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a
|
||
|
|
good many voices all talking together: she made out the words:
|
||
|
|
'Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one;
|
||
|
|
Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up
|
||
|
|
at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half
|
||
|
|
high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be
|
||
|
|
particular-- Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof
|
||
|
|
bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!'
|
||
|
|
(a loud crash)--'Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's
|
||
|
|
to go down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! <i>you</i> do it!--That I
|
||
|
|
won't, then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says
|
||
|
|
you're to go down the chimney!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said
|
||
|
|
Alice to herself. 'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I
|
||
|
|
wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is
|
||
|
|
narrow, to be sure; but I <i>think</i> I can kick a little!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and
|
||
|
|
waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what
|
||
|
|
sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close
|
||
|
|
above her: then, saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one
|
||
|
|
sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes
|
||
|
|
Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--'Catch him, you by the
|
||
|
|
hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--'Hold
|
||
|
|
up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow?
|
||
|
|
What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,'
|
||
|
|
thought Alice,) 'Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm
|
||
|
|
better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know
|
||
|
|
is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes
|
||
|
|
like a sky-rocket!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'So you did, old fellow!' said the others.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and
|
||
|
|
Alice called out as loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah
|
||
|
|
at you!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to
|
||
|
|
herself, 'I wonder what they <i>will</i> do next! If they had any
|
||
|
|
sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they
|
||
|
|
began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, 'A
|
||
|
|
barrowful will do, to begin with.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'A barrowful of <i>what</i>?' thought Alice; but she had not
|
||
|
|
long to doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles
|
||
|
|
came rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the
|
||
|
|
face. 'I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted
|
||
|
|
out, 'You'd better not do that again!' which produced another
|
||
|
|
dead silence.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all
|
||
|
|
turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright
|
||
|
|
idea came into her head. 'If I eat one of these cakes,' she
|
||
|
|
thought, 'it's sure to make <i>some</i> change in my size; and as
|
||
|
|
it can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I
|
||
|
|
suppose.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find
|
||
|
|
that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small
|
||
|
|
enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and
|
||
|
|
found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside.
|
||
|
|
The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by
|
||
|
|
two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle.
|
||
|
|
They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she
|
||
|
|
ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a
|
||
|
|
thick wood.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as
|
||
|
|
she wandered about in the wood, 'is to grow to my right size
|
||
|
|
again; and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely
|
||
|
|
garden. I think that will be the best plan.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and
|
||
|
|
simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the
|
||
|
|
smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering
|
||
|
|
about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over
|
||
|
|
her head made her look up in a great hurry.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round
|
||
|
|
eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her.
|
||
|
|
'Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried
|
||
|
|
hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the
|
||
|
|
time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it
|
||
|
|
would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her
|
||
|
|
coaxing.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of
|
||
|
|
stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped
|
||
|
|
into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight,
|
||
|
|
and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice
|
||
|
|
dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run
|
||
|
|
over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy
|
||
|
|
made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in
|
||
|
|
its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very
|
||
|
|
like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every
|
||
|
|
moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle
|
||
|
|
again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the
|
||
|
|
stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long
|
||
|
|
way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat
|
||
|
|
down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its
|
||
|
|
mouth, and its great eyes half shut.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape;
|
||
|
|
so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out
|
||
|
|
of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the
|
||
|
|
distance.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she
|
||
|
|
leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself
|
||
|
|
with one of the leaves: 'I should have liked teaching it tricks
|
||
|
|
very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh dear!
|
||
|
|
I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let me
|
||
|
|
see--how <i>is</i> it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or drink
|
||
|
|
something or other; but the great question is, what?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round
|
||
|
|
her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see
|
||
|
|
anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under
|
||
|
|
the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her,
|
||
|
|
about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under
|
||
|
|
it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her
|
||
|
|
that she might as well look and see what was on the top of
|
||
|
|
it.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge
|
||
|
|
of the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large
|
||
|
|
caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded,
|
||
|
|
quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice
|
||
|
|
of her or of anything else.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER V</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">Advice from a Caterpillar</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time
|
||
|
|
in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
|
||
|
|
mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Who are <i>you</i>?' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice
|
||
|
|
replied, rather shyly, 'I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--
|
||
|
|
at least I know who I <i>was</i> when I got up this morning, but I think
|
||
|
|
I must have been changed several times since then.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.
|
||
|
|
'Explain yourself!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I can't explain <i>myself</i>, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice,
|
||
|
|
'because I'm not myself, you see.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very
|
||
|
|
politely, 'for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and
|
||
|
|
being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but
|
||
|
|
when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you
|
||
|
|
know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll
|
||
|
|
feel it a little queer, won't you?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice;
|
||
|
|
'all I know is, it would feel very queer to <i>me</i>.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are
|
||
|
|
<i>you</i>?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Which brought them back again to the beginning of the
|
||
|
|
conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's
|
||
|
|
making such <i>very</i> short remarks, and she drew herself up
|
||
|
|
and said, very gravely, 'I think, you ought to tell me who
|
||
|
|
<i>you</i> are, first.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why?' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not
|
||
|
|
think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in
|
||
|
|
a <i>very</i> unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. 'I've something
|
||
|
|
important to say!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back
|
||
|
|
again.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well
|
||
|
|
as she could.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'No,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else
|
||
|
|
to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth
|
||
|
|
hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at
|
||
|
|
last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth
|
||
|
|
again, and said, 'So you think you're changed, do you?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things
|
||
|
|
as I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes
|
||
|
|
together!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Can't remember <i>what</i> things?' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, I've tried to say "<i>How doth the little busy
|
||
|
|
bee,</i>" but it all came different!' Alice replied in a very
|
||
|
|
melancholy voice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Repeat, "<i>you are old, Father William,</i>"' said the
|
||
|
|
Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice folded her hands, and began:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'You are old, Father William,' the young man said, 'And
|
||
|
|
your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on
|
||
|
|
your head-- Do you think, at your age, it is right?'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, 'I feared
|
||
|
|
it might injure the brain; But, now that I'm perfectly sure I
|
||
|
|
have none, Why, I do it again and again.'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before, And
|
||
|
|
have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault
|
||
|
|
in at the door-- Pray, what is the reason of that?'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
|
||
|
|
'I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment--one
|
||
|
|
shilling the box-- Allow me to sell you a couple?'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
|
||
|
|
For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with
|
||
|
|
the bones and the beak-- Pray how did you manage to do
|
||
|
|
it?'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law, And
|
||
|
|
argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which
|
||
|
|
it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the rest of my life.'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose
|
||
|
|
That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on
|
||
|
|
the end of your nose-- What made you so awfully clever?'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' Said
|
||
|
|
his father; 'don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen
|
||
|
|
all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you down
|
||
|
|
stairs!'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Not <i>quite</i> right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly;
|
||
|
|
'some of the words have got altered.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar
|
||
|
|
decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Caterpillar was the first to speak.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What size do you want to be?' it asked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied;
|
||
|
|
'only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I <i>don't</i> know,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in
|
||
|
|
her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, I should like to be a <i>little</i> larger, sir, if you
|
||
|
|
wouldn't mind,' said Alice: 'three inches is such a wretched
|
||
|
|
height to be.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar
|
||
|
|
angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three
|
||
|
|
inches high).</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous
|
||
|
|
tone. And she thought of herself, 'I wish the creatures wouldn't
|
||
|
|
be so easily offended!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it
|
||
|
|
put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak
|
||
|
|
again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of
|
||
|
|
its mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got
|
||
|
|
down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely
|
||
|
|
remarking as it went, 'One side will make you grow taller, and
|
||
|
|
the other side will make you grow shorter.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'One side of <i>what</i>? The other side of <i>what</i>?'
|
||
|
|
thought Alice to herself.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had
|
||
|
|
asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a
|
||
|
|
minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as
|
||
|
|
it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question.
|
||
|
|
However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they
|
||
|
|
would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a
|
||
|
|
little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment
|
||
|
|
she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her
|
||
|
|
foot!</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but
|
||
|
|
she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking
|
||
|
|
rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit.
|
||
|
|
Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was
|
||
|
|
hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and
|
||
|
|
managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center">* * * * *</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of
|
||
|
|
delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she
|
||
|
|
found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could
|
||
|
|
see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which
|
||
|
|
seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay
|
||
|
|
far below her.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What <i>can</i> all that green stuff be?' said Alice. 'And
|
||
|
|
where <i>have</i> my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how
|
||
|
|
is it I can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke,
|
||
|
|
but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the
|
||
|
|
distant green leaves.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her
|
||
|
|
head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted
|
||
|
|
to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction,
|
||
|
|
like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a
|
||
|
|
graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which
|
||
|
|
she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she
|
||
|
|
had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a
|
||
|
|
hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating
|
||
|
|
her violently with its wings.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'm <i>not</i> a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. 'Let me
|
||
|
|
alone!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more
|
||
|
|
subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, 'I've tried every
|
||
|
|
way, and nothing seems to suit them!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said
|
||
|
|
Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've
|
||
|
|
tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; 'but
|
||
|
|
those serpents! There's no pleasing them!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no
|
||
|
|
use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the
|
||
|
|
Pigeon; 'but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and
|
||
|
|
day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was
|
||
|
|
beginning to see its meaning.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,'
|
||
|
|
continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, 'and just as
|
||
|
|
I was thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs
|
||
|
|
come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But I'm <i>not</i> a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. 'I'm
|
||
|
|
a--I'm a--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well! <i>what</i> are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see
|
||
|
|
you're trying to invent something!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she
|
||
|
|
remembered the number of changes she had gone through that
|
||
|
|
day.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the
|
||
|
|
deepest contempt. 'I've seen a good many little girls in my time,
|
||
|
|
but never <i>one</i> with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a
|
||
|
|
serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be
|
||
|
|
telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I <i>have</i> tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a
|
||
|
|
very truthful child; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much as
|
||
|
|
serpents do, you know.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why
|
||
|
|
then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent
|
||
|
|
for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of
|
||
|
|
adding, 'You're looking for eggs, I know <i>that</i> well enough;
|
||
|
|
and what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a
|
||
|
|
serpent?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It matters a good deal to <i>me</i>,' said Alice hastily;
|
||
|
|
'but I'm not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I
|
||
|
|
shouldn't want <i>yours</i>: I don't like them raw.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it
|
||
|
|
settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the
|
||
|
|
trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled
|
||
|
|
among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and
|
||
|
|
untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the
|
||
|
|
pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very
|
||
|
|
carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and
|
||
|
|
growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had
|
||
|
|
succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>It was so long since she had been anything near the right
|
||
|
|
size, that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it
|
||
|
|
in a few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. 'Come,
|
||
|
|
there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes
|
||
|
|
are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to
|
||
|
|
another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next thing
|
||
|
|
is, to get into that beautiful garden--how <i>is</i> that to be
|
||
|
|
done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open
|
||
|
|
place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 'Whoever
|
||
|
|
lives there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon them
|
||
|
|
<i>this</i> size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!'
|
||
|
|
So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not
|
||
|
|
venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down to
|
||
|
|
nine inches high.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER VI</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">Pig and Pepper</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and
|
||
|
|
wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came
|
||
|
|
running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman
|
||
|
|
because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only,
|
||
|
|
she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door
|
||
|
|
with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery,
|
||
|
|
with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen,
|
||
|
|
Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their
|
||
|
|
heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and
|
||
|
|
crept a little way out of the wood to listen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great
|
||
|
|
letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to
|
||
|
|
the other, saying, in a solemn tone, 'For the Duchess. An
|
||
|
|
invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman
|
||
|
|
repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the
|
||
|
|
words a little, 'From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to
|
||
|
|
play croquet.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled
|
||
|
|
together.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into
|
||
|
|
the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped
|
||
|
|
out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the
|
||
|
|
ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and
|
||
|
|
that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the
|
||
|
|
door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise
|
||
|
|
inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was
|
||
|
|
a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling
|
||
|
|
and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish
|
||
|
|
or kettle had been broken to pieces.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went
|
||
|
|
on without attending to her, 'if we had the door between us. For
|
||
|
|
instance, if you were <i>inside</i>, you might knock, and I could
|
||
|
|
let you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the
|
||
|
|
time he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil.
|
||
|
|
'But perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; 'his eyes
|
||
|
|
are so <i>very</i> nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate
|
||
|
|
he might answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated,
|
||
|
|
aloud.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till
|
||
|
|
tomorrow--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate
|
||
|
|
came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed
|
||
|
|
his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind
|
||
|
|
him.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same
|
||
|
|
tone, exactly as if nothing had happened.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'<i>Are</i> you to get in at all?' said the Footman. 'That's
|
||
|
|
the first question, you know.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 'It's
|
||
|
|
really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the
|
||
|
|
creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for
|
||
|
|
repeating his remark, with variations. 'I shall sit here,' he
|
||
|
|
said, 'on and off, for days and days.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But what am I to do?' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began
|
||
|
|
whistling.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice
|
||
|
|
desperately: 'he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door
|
||
|
|
and went in.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of
|
||
|
|
smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a
|
||
|
|
three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was
|
||
|
|
leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to
|
||
|
|
be full of soup.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said
|
||
|
|
to herself, as well as she could for sneezing.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the
|
||
|
|
Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was
|
||
|
|
sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The
|
||
|
|
only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook,
|
||
|
|
and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from
|
||
|
|
ear to ear.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for
|
||
|
|
she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to
|
||
|
|
speak first, 'why your cat grins like that?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why.
|
||
|
|
Pig!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice
|
||
|
|
quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed
|
||
|
|
to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on
|
||
|
|
again:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I
|
||
|
|
didn't know that cats <i>could</i> grin.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely,
|
||
|
|
feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a
|
||
|
|
fact.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought
|
||
|
|
it would be as well to introduce some other subject of
|
||
|
|
conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took
|
||
|
|
the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work
|
||
|
|
throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby
|
||
|
|
--the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans,
|
||
|
|
plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when
|
||
|
|
they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it
|
||
|
|
was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, <i>please</i> mind what you're doing!' cried Alice,
|
||
|
|
jumping up and down in an agony of terror. 'Oh, there goes his
|
||
|
|
<i>precious</i> nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close
|
||
|
|
by it, and very nearly carried it off.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in
|
||
|
|
a hoarse growl, 'the world would go round a deal faster than it
|
||
|
|
does.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Which would <i>not</i> be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt
|
||
|
|
very glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her
|
||
|
|
knowledge. 'Just think of what work it would make with the day
|
||
|
|
and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn
|
||
|
|
round on its axis--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she
|
||
|
|
meant to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the
|
||
|
|
soup, and seemed not to be listening, so she went on again:
|
||
|
|
'Twenty-four hours, I <i>think</i>; or is it twelve? I--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, don't bother <i>me</i>,' said the Duchess; 'I never could abide
|
||
|
|
figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again,
|
||
|
|
singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a
|
||
|
|
violent shake at the end of every line:</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center"><i>'Speak roughly to your little boy,</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center"><i>And beat him when he sneezes:</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center"><i>He only does it to annoy,</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center"><i>Because he knows it teases.'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center">CHORUS</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>(In which the cook and the baby joined):--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center">'Wow! wow! wow!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept
|
||
|
|
tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing
|
||
|
|
howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center"><i>'I speak severely to my boy,</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center"><i>I beat him when he sneezes;</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center"><i>For he can thoroughly enjoy</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center"><i>The pepper when he pleases!'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center">CHORUS</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p align="Center">'Wow! wow! wow!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said
|
||
|
|
to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. 'I must go and
|
||
|
|
get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of
|
||
|
|
the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out,
|
||
|
|
but it just missed her.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-
|
||
|
|
shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all
|
||
|
|
directions, 'just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor
|
||
|
|
little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it,
|
||
|
|
and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again,
|
||
|
|
so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much
|
||
|
|
as she could do to hold it.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it,
|
||
|
|
(which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep
|
||
|
|
tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its
|
||
|
|
undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. '<i>If</i>
|
||
|
|
I don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, 'they're
|
||
|
|
sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave
|
||
|
|
it behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little
|
||
|
|
thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).
|
||
|
|
'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's not at all a proper way of
|
||
|
|
expressing yourself.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into
|
||
|
|
its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no
|
||
|
|
doubt that it had a <i>very</i> turn-up nose, much more like a
|
||
|
|
snout than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely
|
||
|
|
small for a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the
|
||
|
|
thing at all. 'But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and
|
||
|
|
looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>No, there were no tears. 'If you're going to turn into a pig,
|
||
|
|
my dear,' said Alice, seriously, 'I'll have nothing more to do
|
||
|
|
with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or
|
||
|
|
grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for
|
||
|
|
some while in silence.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 'Now, what am I
|
||
|
|
to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted
|
||
|
|
again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some
|
||
|
|
alarm. This time there could be <i>no</i> mistake about it: it
|
||
|
|
was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would
|
||
|
|
be quite absurd for her to carry it further.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved
|
||
|
|
to see it trot away quietly into the wood. 'If it had grown up,'
|
||
|
|
she said to herself, 'it would have made a dreadfully ugly child:
|
||
|
|
but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began
|
||
|
|
thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as
|
||
|
|
pigs, and was just saying to herself, 'if one only knew the right
|
||
|
|
way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing
|
||
|
|
the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards
|
||
|
|
off.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-
|
||
|
|
natured, she thought: still it had <i>very</i> long claws and a
|
||
|
|
great many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with
|
||
|
|
respect.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at
|
||
|
|
all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned
|
||
|
|
a little wider. 'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and
|
||
|
|
she went on. 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go
|
||
|
|
from here?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said
|
||
|
|
the Cat.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I don't much care where--' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'--so long as I get <i>somewhere</i>,' Alice added as an
|
||
|
|
explanation.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk
|
||
|
|
long enough.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another
|
||
|
|
question. 'What sort of people live about here?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'In <i>that</i> direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw
|
||
|
|
round, 'lives a Hatter: and in <i>that</i> direction,' waving the
|
||
|
|
other paw, 'lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're
|
||
|
|
both mad.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here.
|
||
|
|
I'm mad. You're mad.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come
|
||
|
|
here.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on
|
||
|
|
'And how do you know that you're mad?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'To begin with,' said the Cat, 'a dog's not mad. You grant
|
||
|
|
that?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I suppose so,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when
|
||
|
|
it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when
|
||
|
|
I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm
|
||
|
|
mad.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Call it what you like,' said the Cat. 'Do you play croquet
|
||
|
|
with the Queen to-day?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I should like it very much,' said Alice, 'but I haven't been
|
||
|
|
invited yet.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used
|
||
|
|
to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place
|
||
|
|
where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. 'I'd
|
||
|
|
nearly forgotten to ask.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had
|
||
|
|
come back in a natural way.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it
|
||
|
|
did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the
|
||
|
|
direction in which the March Hare was said to live. 'I've seen
|
||
|
|
hatters before,' she said to herself; 'the March Hare will be
|
||
|
|
much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be
|
||
|
|
raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said
|
||
|
|
this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a
|
||
|
|
branch of a tree.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'and I wish you wouldn't keep
|
||
|
|
appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite
|
||
|
|
giddy.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite
|
||
|
|
slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the
|
||
|
|
grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice;
|
||
|
|
'but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw
|
||
|
|
in my life!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the
|
||
|
|
house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house,
|
||
|
|
because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was
|
||
|
|
thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not like
|
||
|
|
to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand bit
|
||
|
|
of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even then
|
||
|
|
she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself
|
||
|
|
'Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd
|
||
|
|
gone to see the Hatter instead!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER VII</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">A Mad Tea-Party</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house,
|
||
|
|
and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a
|
||
|
|
Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two
|
||
|
|
were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and
|
||
|
|
talking over its head. 'Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,'
|
||
|
|
thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't
|
||
|
|
mind.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded
|
||
|
|
together at one corner of it: 'No room! No room!' they cried out
|
||
|
|
when they saw Alice coming. 'There's <i>plenty</i> of room!' said
|
||
|
|
Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one
|
||
|
|
end of the table.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging
|
||
|
|
tone.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it
|
||
|
|
but tea. 'I don't see any wine,' she remarked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice
|
||
|
|
angrily.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being
|
||
|
|
invited,' said the March Hare.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I didn't know it was <i>your</i> table,' said Alice; 'it's
|
||
|
|
laid for a great many more than three.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been
|
||
|
|
looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was
|
||
|
|
his first speech.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said
|
||
|
|
with some severity; 'it's very rude.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all
|
||
|
|
he <i>said</i> was, 'Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad
|
||
|
|
they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she
|
||
|
|
added aloud.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to
|
||
|
|
it?' said the March Hare.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Exactly so,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went
|
||
|
|
on.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least--at least I mean what
|
||
|
|
I say--that's the same thing, you know.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'You might just
|
||
|
|
as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat
|
||
|
|
what I see"!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I
|
||
|
|
like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed
|
||
|
|
to be talking in his sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is the
|
||
|
|
same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It <i>is</i> the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and
|
||
|
|
here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a
|
||
|
|
minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about
|
||
|
|
ravens and writing-desks, which wasn't much.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 'What day of
|
||
|
|
the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his
|
||
|
|
watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking
|
||
|
|
it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. 'I told you butter
|
||
|
|
wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March
|
||
|
|
Hare.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It was the <i>best</i> butter,' the March Hare meekly
|
||
|
|
replied.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter
|
||
|
|
grumbled: 'you shouldn't have put it in with the
|
||
|
|
bread-knife.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then
|
||
|
|
he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he
|
||
|
|
could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, 'It
|
||
|
|
was the <i>best</i> butter, you know.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.
|
||
|
|
'What a funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the
|
||
|
|
month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does <i>your</i> watch
|
||
|
|
tell you what year it is?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's
|
||
|
|
because it stays the same year for such a long time
|
||
|
|
together.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Which is just the case with <i>mine</i>,' said the
|
||
|
|
Hatter.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to
|
||
|
|
have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English.
|
||
|
|
'I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she
|
||
|
|
could.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured
|
||
|
|
a little hot tea upon its nose.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without
|
||
|
|
opening its eyes, 'Of course, of course; just what I was going to
|
||
|
|
remark myself.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to
|
||
|
|
Alice again.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Nor I,' said the March Hare.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice sighed wearily. 'I think you might do something better
|
||
|
|
with the time,' she said, 'than waste it in asking riddles that
|
||
|
|
have no answers.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you
|
||
|
|
wouldn't talk about wasting <i>it</i>. It's <i>him</i>.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head
|
||
|
|
contemptuously. 'I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: 'but I know I have to
|
||
|
|
beat time when I learn music.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. 'He won't stand
|
||
|
|
beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do
|
||
|
|
almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose
|
||
|
|
it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons:
|
||
|
|
you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the
|
||
|
|
clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a
|
||
|
|
whisper.)</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully:
|
||
|
|
'but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: 'but you could keep
|
||
|
|
it to half-past one as long as you liked.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Is that the way <i>you</i> manage?' Alice asked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Hatter shook his head mournfully. 'Not I!' he replied. 'We
|
||
|
|
quarrelled last March--just before <i>he</i> went mad, you
|
||
|
|
know--' (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) '--it
|
||
|
|
was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had
|
||
|
|
to sing</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>How I wonder what you're at!"</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>You know the song, perhaps?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I've heard something like it,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, 'in this
|
||
|
|
way:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>"Up above the world you fly,</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>Like a tea-tray in the sky.</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>Twinkle, twinkle--"'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep
|
||
|
|
'<i>Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--</i>' and went on so long
|
||
|
|
that they had to pinch it to make it stop.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter,
|
||
|
|
'when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the
|
||
|
|
time! Off with his head!"'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,
|
||
|
|
'he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>A bright idea came into Alice's head. 'Is that the reason so
|
||
|
|
many tea-things are put out here?' she asked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: 'it's always
|
||
|
|
tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between
|
||
|
|
whiles.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the things get used
|
||
|
|
up.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice
|
||
|
|
ventured to ask.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted,
|
||
|
|
yawning. 'I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells
|
||
|
|
us a story.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at
|
||
|
|
the proposal.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. 'Wake up,
|
||
|
|
Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. 'I wasn't asleep,' he
|
||
|
|
said in a hoarse, feeble voice: 'I heard every word you fellows
|
||
|
|
were saying.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, 'or you'll be
|
||
|
|
asleep again before it's done.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the
|
||
|
|
Dormouse began in a great hurry; 'and their names were Elsie,
|
||
|
|
Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great
|
||
|
|
interest in questions of eating and drinking.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a
|
||
|
|
minute or two.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently
|
||
|
|
remarked; 'they'd have been ill.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'So they were,' said the Dormouse; '<i>very</i> ill.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary
|
||
|
|
ways of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she
|
||
|
|
went on: 'But why did they live at the bottom of a well?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very
|
||
|
|
earnestly.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, 'so
|
||
|
|
I can't take more.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You mean you can't take <i>less</i>,' said the Hatter: 'it's
|
||
|
|
very easy to take <i>more</i> than nothing.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Nobody asked <i>your</i> opinion,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked
|
||
|
|
triumphantly.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped
|
||
|
|
herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the
|
||
|
|
Dormouse, and repeated her question. 'Why did they live at the
|
||
|
|
bottom of a well?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and
|
||
|
|
then said, 'It was a treacle-well.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but
|
||
|
|
the Hatter and the March Hare went 'Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse
|
||
|
|
sulkily remarked, 'If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the
|
||
|
|
story for yourself.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt
|
||
|
|
again. I dare say there may be <i>one</i>.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he
|
||
|
|
consented to go on. 'And so these three little sisters--they were
|
||
|
|
learning to draw, you know--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her
|
||
|
|
promise.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this
|
||
|
|
time.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move
|
||
|
|
one place on.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the
|
||
|
|
March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather
|
||
|
|
unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the
|
||
|
|
only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a
|
||
|
|
good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset
|
||
|
|
the milk-jug into his plate.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began
|
||
|
|
very cautiously: 'But I don't understand. Where did they draw the
|
||
|
|
treacle from?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; 'so
|
||
|
|
I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh,
|
||
|
|
stupid?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But they were <i>in</i> the well,' Alice said to the
|
||
|
|
Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Of course they were', said the Dormouse; '--well in.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse
|
||
|
|
go on for some time without interrupting it.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning
|
||
|
|
and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; 'and they
|
||
|
|
drew all manner of things--everything that begins with an
|
||
|
|
M--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why with an M?' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why not?' said the March Hare.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice was silent.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going
|
||
|
|
off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up
|
||
|
|
again with a little shriek, and went on: '--that begins with an
|
||
|
|
M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--
|
||
|
|
you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever
|
||
|
|
see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, 'I
|
||
|
|
don't think--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got
|
||
|
|
up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep
|
||
|
|
instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her
|
||
|
|
going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that
|
||
|
|
they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were
|
||
|
|
trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'At any rate I'll never go <i>there</i> again!' said Alice as
|
||
|
|
she picked her way through the wood. 'It's the stupidest
|
||
|
|
tea-party I ever was at in all my life!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a
|
||
|
|
door leading right into it. 'That's very curious!' she thought.
|
||
|
|
'But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at
|
||
|
|
once.' And in she went.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the
|
||
|
|
little glass table. 'Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said
|
||
|
|
to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and
|
||
|
|
unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to
|
||
|
|
work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her
|
||
|
|
pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the
|
||
|
|
little passage: and <i>then</i>--she found herself at last in the
|
||
|
|
beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool
|
||
|
|
fountains.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER VIII</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">The Queen's Croquet-Ground</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the
|
||
|
|
roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at
|
||
|
|
it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious
|
||
|
|
thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up
|
||
|
|
to them she heard one of them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go
|
||
|
|
splashing paint over me like that!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven
|
||
|
|
jogged my elbow.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always
|
||
|
|
lay the blame on others!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>You'd</i> better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen
|
||
|
|
say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What for?' said the one who had spoken first.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That's none of <i>your</i> business, Two!' said Seven.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes, it <i>is</i> his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell
|
||
|
|
him--it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of
|
||
|
|
onions.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all
|
||
|
|
the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as
|
||
|
|
she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the
|
||
|
|
others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you
|
||
|
|
are painting those roses?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a
|
||
|
|
low voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to
|
||
|
|
have been a <i>red</i> rose-tree, and we put a white one in by
|
||
|
|
mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have
|
||
|
|
our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our
|
||
|
|
best, afore she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been
|
||
|
|
anxiously looking across the garden, called out 'The Queen! The
|
||
|
|
Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat
|
||
|
|
upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice
|
||
|
|
looked round, eager to see the Queen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped
|
||
|
|
like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and
|
||
|
|
feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were
|
||
|
|
ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the
|
||
|
|
soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were ten
|
||
|
|
of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in
|
||
|
|
hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came
|
||
|
|
the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice
|
||
|
|
recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous
|
||
|
|
manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without
|
||
|
|
noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the
|
||
|
|
King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this
|
||
|
|
grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on
|
||
|
|
her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember
|
||
|
|
ever having heard of such a rule at processions; 'and besides,
|
||
|
|
what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, 'if people
|
||
|
|
had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see
|
||
|
|
it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped
|
||
|
|
and looked at her, and the Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She
|
||
|
|
said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in
|
||
|
|
reply.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and,
|
||
|
|
turning to Alice, she went on, 'What's your name, child?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very
|
||
|
|
politely; but she added, to herself, 'Why, they're only a pack of
|
||
|
|
cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And who are <i>these</i>?' said the Queen, pointing to the
|
||
|
|
three gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see,
|
||
|
|
as they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs
|
||
|
|
was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether
|
||
|
|
they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her
|
||
|
|
own children.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage.
|
||
|
|
'It's no business of <i>mine</i>.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her
|
||
|
|
for a moment like a wild beast, screamed 'Off with her head!
|
||
|
|
Off--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the
|
||
|
|
Queen was silent.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said
|
||
|
|
'Consider, my dear: she is only a child!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave
|
||
|
|
'Turn them over!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the
|
||
|
|
three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the
|
||
|
|
King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. 'You make me giddy.' And
|
||
|
|
then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, 'What <i>have</i>
|
||
|
|
you been doing here?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone,
|
||
|
|
going down on one knee as he spoke, 'we were trying--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the
|
||
|
|
roses. 'Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three
|
||
|
|
of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate
|
||
|
|
gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a
|
||
|
|
large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered
|
||
|
|
about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly
|
||
|
|
marched off after the others.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the
|
||
|
|
soldiers shouted in reply.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question
|
||
|
|
was evidently meant for her.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes!' shouted Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the
|
||
|
|
procession, wondering very much what would happen next.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side.
|
||
|
|
She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously
|
||
|
|
into her face.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Very,' said Alice: '--where's the Duchess?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He
|
||
|
|
looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised
|
||
|
|
himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and
|
||
|
|
whispered 'She's under sentence of execution.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What for?' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'No, I didn't,' said Alice: 'I don't think it's at all a pity.
|
||
|
|
I said "What for?"'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a
|
||
|
|
little scream of laughter. 'Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a
|
||
|
|
frightened tone. 'The Queen will hear you! You see, she came
|
||
|
|
rather late, and the Queen said--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder,
|
||
|
|
and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up
|
||
|
|
against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or
|
||
|
|
two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a
|
||
|
|
curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and
|
||
|
|
furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live
|
||
|
|
flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to
|
||
|
|
stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her
|
||
|
|
flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away,
|
||
|
|
comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down,
|
||
|
|
but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened
|
||
|
|
out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it
|
||
|
|
<i>would</i> twist itself round and look up in her face, with
|
||
|
|
such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out
|
||
|
|
laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to
|
||
|
|
begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had
|
||
|
|
unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all
|
||
|
|
this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever
|
||
|
|
she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up
|
||
|
|
soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of
|
||
|
|
the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very
|
||
|
|
difficult game indeed.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The players all played at once without waiting for turns,
|
||
|
|
quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in
|
||
|
|
a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went
|
||
|
|
stamping about, and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with
|
||
|
|
her head!' about once in a minute.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as
|
||
|
|
yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might
|
||
|
|
happen any minute, 'and then,' thought she, 'what would become of
|
||
|
|
me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great
|
||
|
|
wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering
|
||
|
|
whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a
|
||
|
|
curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first,
|
||
|
|
but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to be a
|
||
|
|
grin, and she said to herself 'It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall
|
||
|
|
have somebody to talk to.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was
|
||
|
|
mouth enough for it to speak with.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. 'It's no
|
||
|
|
use speaking to it,' she thought, 'till its ears have come, or at
|
||
|
|
least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared,
|
||
|
|
and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the
|
||
|
|
game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The Cat
|
||
|
|
seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and no
|
||
|
|
more of it appeared.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in
|
||
|
|
rather a complaining tone, 'and they all quarrel so dreadfully
|
||
|
|
one can't hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any
|
||
|
|
rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to
|
||
|
|
them--and you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being
|
||
|
|
alive; for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next
|
||
|
|
walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have
|
||
|
|
croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it
|
||
|
|
saw mine coming!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Not at all,' said Alice: 'she's so extremely--' Just then she
|
||
|
|
noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she
|
||
|
|
went on, '--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing
|
||
|
|
the game.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Queen smiled and passed on.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Who <i>are</i> you talking to?' said the King, going up to
|
||
|
|
Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: 'allow me
|
||
|
|
to introduce it.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: 'however,
|
||
|
|
it may kiss my hand if it likes.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Don't be impertinent,' said the King, 'and don't look at me
|
||
|
|
like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. 'I've read that in
|
||
|
|
some book, but I don't remember where.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and
|
||
|
|
he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, 'My dear! I
|
||
|
|
wish you would have this cat removed!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great
|
||
|
|
or small. 'Off with his head!' she said, without even looking
|
||
|
|
round.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly,
|
||
|
|
and he hurried off.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game
|
||
|
|
was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance,
|
||
|
|
screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three
|
||
|
|
of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and
|
||
|
|
she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in
|
||
|
|
such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or
|
||
|
|
not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog,
|
||
|
|
which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one
|
||
|
|
of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her
|
||
|
|
flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where
|
||
|
|
Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up
|
||
|
|
into a tree.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back,
|
||
|
|
the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight:
|
||
|
|
'but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, 'as all the arches
|
||
|
|
are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away
|
||
|
|
under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for
|
||
|
|
a little more conversation with her friend.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to
|
||
|
|
find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute
|
||
|
|
going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who
|
||
|
|
were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent,
|
||
|
|
and looked very uncomfortable.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to
|
||
|
|
settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her,
|
||
|
|
though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed
|
||
|
|
to make out exactly what they said.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a
|
||
|
|
head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had
|
||
|
|
never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin
|
||
|
|
at <i>his</i> time of life.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could
|
||
|
|
be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about
|
||
|
|
it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round.
|
||
|
|
(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so
|
||
|
|
grave and anxious.)</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice could think of nothing else to say but 'It belongs to
|
||
|
|
the Duchess: you'd better ask <i>her</i> about it.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: 'fetch
|
||
|
|
her here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and,
|
||
|
|
by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely
|
||
|
|
disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and
|
||
|
|
down looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the
|
||
|
|
game.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER IX</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">The Mock Turtle's Story</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old
|
||
|
|
thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately
|
||
|
|
into Alice's, and they walked off together.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and
|
||
|
|
thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had
|
||
|
|
made her so savage when they met in the kitchen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'When <i>I'm</i> a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a
|
||
|
|
very hopeful tone though), 'I won't have any pepper in my kitchen
|
||
|
|
<i>at all</i>. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always
|
||
|
|
pepper that makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much
|
||
|
|
pleased at having found out a new kind of rule, 'and vinegar that
|
||
|
|
makes them sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and
|
||
|
|
barley-sugar and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I
|
||
|
|
only wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about
|
||
|
|
it, you know--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a
|
||
|
|
little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear.
|
||
|
|
'You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you
|
||
|
|
forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that
|
||
|
|
is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. 'Everything's got a
|
||
|
|
moral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up
|
||
|
|
closer to Alice's side as she spoke.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first,
|
||
|
|
because the Duchess was <i>very</i> ugly; and secondly, because she was
|
||
|
|
exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder,
|
||
|
|
and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like
|
||
|
|
to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of
|
||
|
|
keeping up the conversation a little.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>''Tis so,' said the Duchess: 'and the moral of that is--"Oh,
|
||
|
|
'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Somebody said,' Alice whispered, 'that it's done by everybody
|
||
|
|
minding their own business!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess,
|
||
|
|
digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added,
|
||
|
|
'and the moral of <i>that</i> is--"Take care of the sense, and
|
||
|
|
the sounds will take care of themselves."'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought
|
||
|
|
to herself.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your
|
||
|
|
waist,' the Duchess said after a pause: 'the reason is, that I'm
|
||
|
|
doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the
|
||
|
|
experiment?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'<i>He</i> might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling
|
||
|
|
at all anxious to have the experiment tried.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Very true,' said the Duchess: 'flamingoes and mustard both
|
||
|
|
bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock
|
||
|
|
together."'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: 'what a clear way you
|
||
|
|
have of putting things!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It's a mineral, I <i>think</i>,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree
|
||
|
|
to everything that Alice said; 'there's a large mustard-mine near
|
||
|
|
here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the
|
||
|
|
less there is of yours."'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this
|
||
|
|
last remark, 'it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it
|
||
|
|
is.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of
|
||
|
|
that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put
|
||
|
|
more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than
|
||
|
|
what it might appear to others that what you were or might have
|
||
|
|
been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared
|
||
|
|
to them to be otherwise."'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very
|
||
|
|
politely, 'if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it
|
||
|
|
as you say it.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess
|
||
|
|
replied, in a pleased tone.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,'
|
||
|
|
said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. 'I make you
|
||
|
|
a present of everything I've said as yet.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they don't
|
||
|
|
give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to say
|
||
|
|
it out loud.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her
|
||
|
|
sharp little chin.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was
|
||
|
|
beginning to feel a little worried.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, 'as pigs have to
|
||
|
|
fly; and the m--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died
|
||
|
|
away, even in the middle of her favourite word 'moral,' and the
|
||
|
|
arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up,
|
||
|
|
and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,
|
||
|
|
frowning like a thunderstorm.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak
|
||
|
|
voice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on
|
||
|
|
the ground as she spoke; 'either you or your head must be off,
|
||
|
|
and that in about half no time! Take your choice!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and
|
||
|
|
Alice was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed
|
||
|
|
her back to the croquet-ground.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence,
|
||
|
|
and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her,
|
||
|
|
they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a
|
||
|
|
moment's delay would cost them their lives.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>All the time they were playing the Queen never left off
|
||
|
|
quarrelling with the other players, and shouting 'Off with his
|
||
|
|
head!' or 'Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were
|
||
|
|
taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave
|
||
|
|
off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour
|
||
|
|
or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the
|
||
|
|
King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of
|
||
|
|
execution.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to
|
||
|
|
Alice, 'Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'No,' said Alice. 'I don't even know what a Mock Turtle
|
||
|
|
is.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the
|
||
|
|
Queen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Come on, then,' said the Queen, 'and he shall tell you his
|
||
|
|
history,'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low
|
||
|
|
voice, to the company generally, 'You are all pardoned.' 'Come,
|
||
|
|
<i>that's</i> a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had
|
||
|
|
felt quite unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had
|
||
|
|
ordered.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the
|
||
|
|
sun. (<i>If</i> you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)
|
||
|
|
'Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, 'and take this young lady to
|
||
|
|
see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and
|
||
|
|
see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off,
|
||
|
|
leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like
|
||
|
|
the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would
|
||
|
|
be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage
|
||
|
|
Queen: so she waited.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the
|
||
|
|
Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. 'What fun!'
|
||
|
|
said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What <i>is</i> the fun?' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why, <i>she</i>,' said the Gryphon. 'It's all her fancy,
|
||
|
|
that: they never executes nobody, you know. Come on!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went
|
||
|
|
slowly after it: 'I never was so ordered about in all my life,
|
||
|
|
never!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the
|
||
|
|
distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and,
|
||
|
|
as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart
|
||
|
|
would break. She pitied him deeply. 'What is his sorrow?' she
|
||
|
|
asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the
|
||
|
|
same words as before, 'It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got no
|
||
|
|
sorrow, you know. Come on!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with
|
||
|
|
large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, 'she wants for to
|
||
|
|
know your history, she do.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow
|
||
|
|
tone: 'sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've
|
||
|
|
finished.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice
|
||
|
|
thought to herself, 'I don't see how he can <i>even</i> finish,
|
||
|
|
if he doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, 'I was
|
||
|
|
a real Turtle.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only
|
||
|
|
by an occasional exclamation of 'Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and
|
||
|
|
the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very
|
||
|
|
nearly getting up and saying, 'Thank you, sir, for your
|
||
|
|
interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there
|
||
|
|
<i>must</i> be more to come, so she sat still and said
|
||
|
|
nothing.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more
|
||
|
|
calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, 'we went to
|
||
|
|
school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call
|
||
|
|
him Tortoise--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice
|
||
|
|
asked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock
|
||
|
|
Turtle angrily: 'really you are very dull!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple
|
||
|
|
question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and
|
||
|
|
looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At
|
||
|
|
last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, 'Drive on, old fellow!
|
||
|
|
Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words:</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe
|
||
|
|
it--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You did,' said the Mock Turtle.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could
|
||
|
|
speak again. The Mock Turtle went on.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school
|
||
|
|
every day--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'<i>I've</i> been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; 'you
|
||
|
|
needn't be so proud as all that.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock
|
||
|
|
Turtle in a tone of great relief. 'Now at <i>ours</i> they had at
|
||
|
|
the end of the bill, "French, music, <i>and
|
||
|
|
washing</i>--extra."'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; 'living at the
|
||
|
|
bottom of the sea.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a
|
||
|
|
sigh. 'I only took the regular course.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What was that?' inquired Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock
|
||
|
|
Turtle replied; 'and then the different branches of Arithmetic--
|
||
|
|
Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say.
|
||
|
|
'What is it?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 'What! Never
|
||
|
|
heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. 'You know what to beautify is,
|
||
|
|
I suppose?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it
|
||
|
|
means--to--make--anything--prettier.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to
|
||
|
|
uglify is, you <i>are</i> a simpleton.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about
|
||
|
|
it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else had you
|
||
|
|
to learn?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting
|
||
|
|
off the subjects on his flappers, '--Mystery, ancient and modern,
|
||
|
|
with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old
|
||
|
|
conger-eel, that used to come once a week: <i>He</i> taught us
|
||
|
|
Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What was <i>that</i> like?' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm
|
||
|
|
too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to the Classics
|
||
|
|
master, though. He was an old crab, <i>he</i> was.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: 'he
|
||
|
|
taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn;
|
||
|
|
and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in
|
||
|
|
a hurry to change the subject.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the
|
||
|
|
next, and so on.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon
|
||
|
|
remarked: 'because they lessen from day to day.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a
|
||
|
|
little before she made her next remark. 'Then the eleventh day
|
||
|
|
must have been a holiday?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on
|
||
|
|
eagerly.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a
|
||
|
|
very decided tone: 'tell her something about the games now.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER X</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">The Lobster Quadrille</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one
|
||
|
|
flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak,
|
||
|
|
but for a minute or two sobs choked his voice. 'Same as if he had
|
||
|
|
a bone in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work
|
||
|
|
shaking him and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle
|
||
|
|
recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he
|
||
|
|
went on again:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You may not have lived much under the sea--' ('I haven't,'
|
||
|
|
said Alice)-- 'and perhaps you were never even introduced to a
|
||
|
|
lobster--' (Alice began to say 'I once tasted--' but checked
|
||
|
|
herself hastily, and said 'No, never') '--so you can have no idea
|
||
|
|
what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'No, indeed,' said Alice. 'What sort of a dance is it?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the
|
||
|
|
sea-shore--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. 'Seals, turtles, salmon,
|
||
|
|
and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of
|
||
|
|
the way--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'<i>That</i> generally takes some time,' interrupted the
|
||
|
|
Gryphon.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'--you advance twice--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance twice, set to
|
||
|
|
partners--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the
|
||
|
|
Gryphon.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, 'you throw
|
||
|
|
the--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the
|
||
|
|
air.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'--as far out to sea as you can--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle,
|
||
|
|
capering wildly about.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Change lobster's again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its
|
||
|
|
voice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said
|
||
|
|
the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two
|
||
|
|
creatures, who had been jumping about like mad things all this
|
||
|
|
time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at
|
||
|
|
Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock
|
||
|
|
Turtle.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Very much indeed,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to
|
||
|
|
the Gryphon. 'We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall
|
||
|
|
sing?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, <i>you</i> sing,' said the Gryphon. 'I've forgotten the
|
||
|
|
words.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every
|
||
|
|
now and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and
|
||
|
|
waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle
|
||
|
|
sang this, very slowly and sadly:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a
|
||
|
|
snail. "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on
|
||
|
|
my tail. See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all
|
||
|
|
advance! They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join
|
||
|
|
the dance?</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
|
||
|
|
dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join
|
||
|
|
the dance?</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
|
||
|
|
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to
|
||
|
|
sea!" But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look
|
||
|
|
askance-- Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not
|
||
|
|
join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, would
|
||
|
|
not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not,
|
||
|
|
could not join the dance.</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.
|
||
|
|
"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. The
|
||
|
|
further off from England the nearer is to France-- Then turn not
|
||
|
|
pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
|
||
|
|
dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join
|
||
|
|
the dance?"'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said
|
||
|
|
Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: 'and I do so
|
||
|
|
like that curious song about the whiting!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, 'they--you've
|
||
|
|
seen them, of course?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes,' said Alice, 'I've often seen them at dinn--' she
|
||
|
|
checked herself hastily.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, 'but
|
||
|
|
if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're
|
||
|
|
like.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. 'They have their
|
||
|
|
tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 'crumbs
|
||
|
|
would all wash off in the sea. But they <i>have</i> their tails
|
||
|
|
in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle yawned
|
||
|
|
and shut his eyes.--'Tell her about the reason and all that,' he
|
||
|
|
said to the Gryphon.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'The reason is,' said the Gryphon, 'that they <i>would</i> go
|
||
|
|
with the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So
|
||
|
|
they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in
|
||
|
|
their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's
|
||
|
|
all.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Thank you,' said Alice, 'it's very interesting. I never knew
|
||
|
|
so much about a whiting before.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the
|
||
|
|
Gryphon. 'Do you know why it's called a whiting?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I never thought about it,' said Alice. 'Why?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'It does the boots and shoes.'</i> the Gryphon replied very
|
||
|
|
solemnly.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice was thoroughly puzzled. 'Does the boots and shoes!' she
|
||
|
|
repeated in a wondering tone.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why, what are <i>your</i> shoes done with?' said the Gryphon.
|
||
|
|
'I mean, what makes them so shiny?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she
|
||
|
|
gave her answer. 'They're done with blacking, I believe.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep
|
||
|
|
voice, 'are done with a whiting. Now you know.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great
|
||
|
|
curiosity.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather
|
||
|
|
impatiently: 'any shrimp could have told you that.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were
|
||
|
|
still running on the song, 'I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep
|
||
|
|
back, please: we don't want <i>you</i> with us!"'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle
|
||
|
|
said: 'no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great
|
||
|
|
surprise.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: 'why, if a fish came to
|
||
|
|
<i>me</i>, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With
|
||
|
|
what porpoise?"'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended
|
||
|
|
tone. And the Gryphon added 'Come, let's hear some of <i>your</i>
|
||
|
|
adventures.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,'
|
||
|
|
said Alice a little timidly: 'but it's no use going back to
|
||
|
|
yesterday, because I was a different person then.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an
|
||
|
|
impatient tone: 'explanations take such a dreadful time.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when
|
||
|
|
she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it
|
||
|
|
just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each
|
||
|
|
side, and opened their eyes and mouths so <i>very</i> wide, but
|
||
|
|
she gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly
|
||
|
|
quiet till she got to the part about her repeating <i>'You are
|
||
|
|
old, Father William,'</i> to the Caterpillar, and the words all
|
||
|
|
coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath,
|
||
|
|
and said 'That's very curious.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the
|
||
|
|
Gryphon.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated
|
||
|
|
thoughtfully. 'I should like to hear her try and repeat something
|
||
|
|
now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as if he
|
||
|
|
thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Stand up and repeat <i>"'Tis the voice of the sluggard,"'</i>
|
||
|
|
said the Gryphon.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat
|
||
|
|
lessons!' thought Alice; 'I might as well be at school at once.'
|
||
|
|
However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so
|
||
|
|
full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was
|
||
|
|
saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>''Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, "You have
|
||
|
|
baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." As a duck with its
|
||
|
|
eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and
|
||
|
|
turns out his toes.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>[later editions continued as follows When the sands are all
|
||
|
|
dry, he is gay as a lark, And will talk in contemptuous tones of
|
||
|
|
the Shark, But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, His
|
||
|
|
voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,'
|
||
|
|
said the Gryphon.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; 'but it
|
||
|
|
sounds uncommon nonsense.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her
|
||
|
|
hands, wondering if anything would <i>ever</i> happen in a
|
||
|
|
natural way again.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock
|
||
|
|
Turtle.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. 'Go on with
|
||
|
|
the next verse.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. 'How
|
||
|
|
<i>could</i> he turn them out with his nose, you know?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was
|
||
|
|
dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the
|
||
|
|
subject.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently:
|
||
|
|
'it begins "I passed by his garden."'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would
|
||
|
|
all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, How the
|
||
|
|
Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>[<tt>later editions continued as follows:</tt> <i>The Panther
|
||
|
|
took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, While the Owl had the dish
|
||
|
|
as its share of the treat. When the pie was all finished, the
|
||
|
|
Owl, as a boon, Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: While
|
||
|
|
the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, And concluded
|
||
|
|
the banquet--</i>]</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What <i>is</i> the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle
|
||
|
|
interrupted, 'if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far
|
||
|
|
the most confusing thing I ever heard!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and
|
||
|
|
Alice was only too glad to do so.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the
|
||
|
|
Gryphon went on. 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a
|
||
|
|
song?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,'
|
||
|
|
Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather
|
||
|
|
offended tone, 'Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle
|
||
|
|
Soup," will you, old fellow?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes
|
||
|
|
choked with sobs, to sing this:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot
|
||
|
|
tureen! Who for such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the
|
||
|
|
evening, beautiful Soup! Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
|
||
|
|
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop of the
|
||
|
|
e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, Game, or any other
|
||
|
|
dish? Who would not give all else for two pennyworth only of
|
||
|
|
beautiful Soup? Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? Beau--ootiful
|
||
|
|
Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
|
||
|
|
Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had
|
||
|
|
just begun to repeat it, when a cry of 'The trial's beginning!'
|
||
|
|
was heard in the distance.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand,
|
||
|
|
it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon
|
||
|
|
only answered 'Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more
|
||
|
|
faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the
|
||
|
|
melancholy words:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful
|
||
|
|
Soup!'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER XI</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">Who Stole the Tarts?</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when
|
||
|
|
they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts
|
||
|
|
of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards:
|
||
|
|
the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on
|
||
|
|
each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit,
|
||
|
|
with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the
|
||
|
|
other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large
|
||
|
|
dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice
|
||
|
|
quite hungry to look at them--'I wish they'd get the trial done,'
|
||
|
|
she thought, 'and hand round the refreshments!' But there seemed
|
||
|
|
to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about
|
||
|
|
her, to pass away the time.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had
|
||
|
|
read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that
|
||
|
|
she knew the name of nearly everything there. 'That's the judge,'
|
||
|
|
she said to herself, 'because of his great wig.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown
|
||
|
|
over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he
|
||
|
|
did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly
|
||
|
|
not becoming.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, 'and those twelve
|
||
|
|
creatures,' (she was obliged to say 'creatures,' you see, because
|
||
|
|
some of them were animals, and some were birds,) 'I suppose they
|
||
|
|
are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over
|
||
|
|
to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and
|
||
|
|
rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the
|
||
|
|
meaning of it at all. However, 'jury-men' would have done just as
|
||
|
|
well.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates.
|
||
|
|
'What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. 'They
|
||
|
|
can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's
|
||
|
|
begun.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in
|
||
|
|
reply, 'for fear they should forget them before the end of the
|
||
|
|
trial.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but
|
||
|
|
she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, 'Silence in
|
||
|
|
the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked
|
||
|
|
anxiously round, to make out who was talking.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their
|
||
|
|
shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down 'stupid things!'
|
||
|
|
on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them
|
||
|
|
didn't know how to spell 'stupid,' and that he had to ask his
|
||
|
|
neighbour to tell him. 'A nice muddle their slates'll be in
|
||
|
|
before the trial's over!' thought Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course,
|
||
|
|
Alice could <i>not</i> stand, and she went round the court and
|
||
|
|
got behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it
|
||
|
|
away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was
|
||
|
|
Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of
|
||
|
|
it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write
|
||
|
|
with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very
|
||
|
|
little use, as it left no mark on the slate.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and
|
||
|
|
then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer
|
||
|
|
day: The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, And took them
|
||
|
|
quite away!'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. 'There's a
|
||
|
|
great deal to come before that!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit
|
||
|
|
blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, 'First
|
||
|
|
witness!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in
|
||
|
|
one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. 'I beg
|
||
|
|
pardon, your Majesty,' he began, 'for bringing these in: but I
|
||
|
|
hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You ought to have finished,' said the King. 'When did you
|
||
|
|
begin?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into
|
||
|
|
the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. 'Fourteenth of March, I
|
||
|
|
<i>think</i> it was,' he said.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury
|
||
|
|
eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then
|
||
|
|
added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'<i>Stolen!</i>' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who
|
||
|
|
instantly made a memorandum of the fact.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation;
|
||
|
|
'I've none of my own. I'm a hatter.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the
|
||
|
|
Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Give your evidence,' said the King; 'and don't be nervous, or
|
||
|
|
I'll have you executed on the spot.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept
|
||
|
|
shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the
|
||
|
|
Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his
|
||
|
|
teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which
|
||
|
|
puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was
|
||
|
|
beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she
|
||
|
|
would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she
|
||
|
|
decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for
|
||
|
|
her.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was
|
||
|
|
sitting next to her. 'I can hardly breathe.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: 'I'm growing.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You've no right to grow <i>here</i>,' said the Dormouse.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: 'you know
|
||
|
|
you're growing too.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Yes, but <i>I</i> grow at a reasonable pace,' said the
|
||
|
|
Dormouse: 'not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very
|
||
|
|
sulkily and crossed over to the other side of the court.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the
|
||
|
|
Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to
|
||
|
|
one of the officers of the court, 'Bring me the list of the
|
||
|
|
singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter
|
||
|
|
trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, 'or I'll have
|
||
|
|
you executed, whether you're nervous or not.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a
|
||
|
|
trembling voice, '--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week
|
||
|
|
or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and
|
||
|
|
the twinkling of the tea--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'The twinkling of the <i>what</i>?' said the King.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It <i>began</i> with the tea,' the Hatter replied.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Of course twinkling <i>begins</i> with a T!' said the King
|
||
|
|
sharply. 'Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, 'and most things
|
||
|
|
twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You did!' said the Hatter.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I deny it!' said the March Hare.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'He denies it,' said the King: 'leave out that part.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on,
|
||
|
|
looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the
|
||
|
|
Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread-
|
||
|
|
and-butter--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You <i>must</i> remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have
|
||
|
|
you executed.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter,
|
||
|
|
and went down on one knee. 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he
|
||
|
|
began.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You're a very poor <i>speaker</i>,' said the King.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately
|
||
|
|
suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a
|
||
|
|
hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had a
|
||
|
|
large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: into
|
||
|
|
this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon
|
||
|
|
it.)</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. 'I've so often
|
||
|
|
read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some
|
||
|
|
attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the
|
||
|
|
officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant till
|
||
|
|
now.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,'
|
||
|
|
continued the King.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: 'I'm on the floor, as
|
||
|
|
it is.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Then you may <i>sit</i> down,' the King replied.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. 'Now we
|
||
|
|
shall get on better.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious
|
||
|
|
look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the
|
||
|
|
court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one
|
||
|
|
of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the
|
||
|
|
officer could get to the door.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Call the next witness!' said the King.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the
|
||
|
|
pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before
|
||
|
|
she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began
|
||
|
|
sneezing all at once.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Give your evidence,' said the King.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Shan't,' said the cook.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a
|
||
|
|
low voice, 'Your Majesty must cross-examine <i>this</i> witness.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy
|
||
|
|
air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till
|
||
|
|
his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, 'What
|
||
|
|
are tarts made of?'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. 'Behead that
|
||
|
|
Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch
|
||
|
|
him! Off with his whiskers!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the
|
||
|
|
Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down
|
||
|
|
again, the cook had disappeared.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief.
|
||
|
|
'Call the next witness.' And he added in an undertone to the
|
||
|
|
Queen, 'Really, my dear, <i>you</i> must cross-examine the next
|
||
|
|
witness. It quite makes my forehead ache!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list,
|
||
|
|
feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like,
|
||
|
|
'--for they haven't got much evidence <i>yet</i>,' she said to
|
||
|
|
herself. Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at
|
||
|
|
the top of his shrill little voice, the name 'Alice!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<hr>
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER XII</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<h3 align="Center">Alice's Evidence</h3>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the
|
||
|
|
moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she
|
||
|
|
jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with
|
||
|
|
the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads
|
||
|
|
of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding
|
||
|
|
her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset
|
||
|
|
the week before.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, I <i>beg</i> your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of
|
||
|
|
great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she
|
||
|
|
could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head,
|
||
|
|
and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at
|
||
|
|
once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave
|
||
|
|
voice, 'until all the jurymen are back in their proper places--
|
||
|
|
<i>all</i>,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at
|
||
|
|
Alice as he said do.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she
|
||
|
|
had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing
|
||
|
|
was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable
|
||
|
|
to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; 'not that
|
||
|
|
it signifies much,' she said to herself; 'I should think it would
|
||
|
|
be <i>quite</i> as much use in the trial one way up as the
|
||
|
|
other.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of
|
||
|
|
being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and
|
||
|
|
handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write
|
||
|
|
out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed
|
||
|
|
too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open,
|
||
|
|
gazing up into the roof of the court.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What do you know about this business?' the King said to
|
||
|
|
Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Nothing,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Nothing <i>whatever?</i>' persisted the King.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Nothing <i>whatever,</i>' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury.
|
||
|
|
They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when
|
||
|
|
the White Rabbit interrupted: '<i>Un</i>important, your Majesty
|
||
|
|
means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but
|
||
|
|
frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'<i>Un</i>important, of course, I meant,' the King hastily
|
||
|
|
said, and went on to himself in an undertone,
|
||
|
|
'important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were
|
||
|
|
trying which word sounded best.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some
|
||
|
|
'unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to
|
||
|
|
look over their slates; 'but it doesn't matter a bit,' she
|
||
|
|
thought to herself.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily
|
||
|
|
writing in his note-book, cackled out 'Silence!' and read out
|
||
|
|
from his book, 'Rule Forty-two. <i>All persons more than a mile
|
||
|
|
hight to leave the court</i>.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Everybody looked at Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'<i>I'm</i> not a mile high,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'You are,' said the King.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: 'besides, that's
|
||
|
|
not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily.
|
||
|
|
'Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling
|
||
|
|
voice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said
|
||
|
|
the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; 'this paper has
|
||
|
|
just been picked up.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'What's in it?' said the Queen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, 'but it
|
||
|
|
seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to
|
||
|
|
somebody.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It must have been that,' said the King, 'unless it was
|
||
|
|
written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; 'in fact,
|
||
|
|
there's nothing written on the <i>outside</i>.' He unfolded the
|
||
|
|
paper as he spoke, and added 'It isn't a letter, after all: it's
|
||
|
|
a set of verses.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of
|
||
|
|
they jurymen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the
|
||
|
|
queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King.
|
||
|
|
(The jury all brightened up again.)</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and
|
||
|
|
they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes the
|
||
|
|
matter worse. You <i>must</i> have meant some mischief, or else
|
||
|
|
you'd have signed your name like an honest man.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the
|
||
|
|
first really clever thing the King had said that day.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That <i>proves</i> his guilt,' said the Queen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. 'Why, you don't
|
||
|
|
even know what they're about!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Read them,' said the King.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin,
|
||
|
|
please your Majesty?' he asked.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on
|
||
|
|
till you come to the end: then stop.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>'They told me you had been to her, And mentioned me to him:
|
||
|
|
She gave me a good character, But said I could not swim.</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>He sent them word I had not gone (We know it to be true):
|
||
|
|
If she should push the matter on, What would become of
|
||
|
|
you?</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>I gave her one, they gave him two, You gave us three or
|
||
|
|
more; They all returned from him to you, Though they were mine
|
||
|
|
before.</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>If I or she should chance to be Involved in this affair, He
|
||
|
|
trusts to you to set them free, Exactly as we were.</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>My notion was that you had been (Before she had this fit)
|
||
|
|
An obstacle that came between Him, and ourselves, and it.</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p><i>Don't let him know she liked them best, For this must ever
|
||
|
|
be A secret, kept from all the rest, Between yourself and
|
||
|
|
me.'</i></p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,'
|
||
|
|
said the King, rubbing his hands; 'so now let the jury--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had
|
||
|
|
grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit
|
||
|
|
afraid of interrupting him,) 'I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't
|
||
|
|
believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The jury all wrote down on their slates, '<i>She</i> doesn't
|
||
|
|
believe there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them
|
||
|
|
attempted to explain the paper.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, 'that saves a
|
||
|
|
world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And
|
||
|
|
yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his
|
||
|
|
knee, and looking at them with one eye; 'I seem to see some
|
||
|
|
meaning in them, after all. "<i>-said I could not swim--</i>" you
|
||
|
|
can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The Knave shook his head sadly. 'Do I look like it?' he said.
|
||
|
|
(Which he certainly did <i>not</i>, being made entirely of
|
||
|
|
cardboard.)</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering
|
||
|
|
over the verses to himself: '"<i>We know it to be true--</i>"
|
||
|
|
that's the jury, of course-- "<i>I gave her one, they gave him
|
||
|
|
two--</i>" why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you
|
||
|
|
know--'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'But, it goes on "<i>they all returned from him to you,</i>"'
|
||
|
|
said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to
|
||
|
|
the tarts on the table. 'Nothing can be clearer than <i>that</i>.
|
||
|
|
Then again--"<i>before she had this fit-</i>-" you never had
|
||
|
|
<i>fits</i>, my dear, I think?' he said to the Queen.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the
|
||
|
|
Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off
|
||
|
|
writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no
|
||
|
|
mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was
|
||
|
|
trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Then the words don't <i>fit</i> you,' said the King, looking
|
||
|
|
round the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and
|
||
|
|
everybody laughed, 'Let the jury consider their verdict,' the
|
||
|
|
King said, for about the twentieth time that day.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first--verdict
|
||
|
|
afterwards.'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having
|
||
|
|
the sentence first!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'I won't!' said Alice.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her
|
||
|
|
voice. Nobody moved.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full
|
||
|
|
size by this time.) 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying
|
||
|
|
down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half
|
||
|
|
of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on
|
||
|
|
the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently
|
||
|
|
brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the
|
||
|
|
trees upon her face.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; 'Why, what a long
|
||
|
|
sleep you've had!'</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told
|
||
|
|
her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange
|
||
|
|
Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and
|
||
|
|
when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'It
|
||
|
|
<i>was</i> a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to
|
||
|
|
your tea; it's getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off,
|
||
|
|
thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream
|
||
|
|
it had been.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her
|
||
|
|
head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of
|
||
|
|
little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began
|
||
|
|
dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the
|
||
|
|
tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes
|
||
|
|
were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her
|
||
|
|
voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back
|
||
|
|
the wandering hair that <i>would</i> always get into her
|
||
|
|
eyes--and still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole
|
||
|
|
place around her became alive the strange creatures of her little
|
||
|
|
sister's dream.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried
|
||
|
|
by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the
|
||
|
|
neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as
|
||
|
|
the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal,
|
||
|
|
and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate
|
||
|
|
guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the
|
||
|
|
Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once
|
||
|
|
more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's
|
||
|
|
slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs,
|
||
|
|
filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable
|
||
|
|
Mock Turtle.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in
|
||
|
|
Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and
|
||
|
|
all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only
|
||
|
|
rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the
|
||
|
|
reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells,
|
||
|
|
and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd
|
||
|
|
boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and
|
||
|
|
all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the
|
||
|
|
confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the
|
||
|
|
cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's
|
||
|
|
heavy sobs.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of
|
||
|
|
hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how
|
||
|
|
she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and
|
||
|
|
loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her
|
||
|
|
other little children, and make <i>their</i> eyes bright and eager with
|
||
|
|
many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of
|
||
|
|
long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows,
|
||
|
|
and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own
|
||
|
|
child-life, and the happy summer days.</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<p>End of the Project Gutenberg Etext of Alice's Adventures in
|
||
|
|
Wonderland</p>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
</body>
|
||
|
|
</html>
|